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How to Talk to a Parent Suffering from Alzheimer’s or Dementia

Estate Planning For Life's Stages

Estate Planning Law Firm in Southwest Missouri
We are at a critical time during the COVID-19 pandemic. While everyone is on edge, and being inundated with news headlines and new statistics, one population we should keep top of mind is our older friends and families, especially those with cognitive impairment, dementia and Alzheimer’s disease.

If you have a parent living in an assisted living facility or a nursing home, or they’re at home, caregivers need to know how to explain the current coronavirus pandemic in an appropriate and clear manner—and in a way that protects and cares for your own personal health.

Long Island Weekly’s recent article entitled “Caregiving During The Coronavirus” explains that older adults often have more health complications, like heart disease, diabetes and hypertension. As a result, they’re more susceptible to the complications of the coronavirus. Review the recommendations of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and World Health Organization (WHO) for protecting you and your family from exposure.

Maybe you should form a trust.

And although some people suffering from Alzheimer’s or dementia may not fully understand the complexity and severity that the COVID-19 pandemic is having on our communities, they can sense what’s happening. They can read your personal energy and can sense your stress. This may cause them to show more symptoms of anxiety, agitation, cognitive decline and confusion. Communicate as best you can to your parent frequently and clearly about what’s happening. While they may not need to have all the details, let them know that there’s a virus spreading within the community and that we need to wash our hands thoroughly and stay indoors.

For those still being cared for at home, take the necessary precautions as you’d do for yourself. Modify your grocery shopping trips, since stores are adding special senior hours, reschedule unnecessary doctor visits, stock up on needed medications and talk to your doctors about any concerns.

For those in a facility, understand the visitation policies, because many have adjusted their policies to limit or prohibit personal visitation. Ask the administration about visitation and what the care facility is doing to ensure your parent’s care. How to talk with a parent?

Although you might be frustrated that your parent’s facility is limiting or cancelling visitation, remember that the new rules are designed to protect the residents. You may be able to schedule a time to speak with your mother or father on the phone every few days, or you can deliver food or items, like photos albums or other gifts to stay connected. Try to be reasonable and understand that these facilities may be understaffed.

How to talk with a parent? Here are a few key points that may be helpful to get through this crisis:

  • Have a talk with your parent and with the facilities in which they’re living, so they can understand the new policies.
  • Be careful yourself. Take reasonable precautions for yourself and your family member.
  • Avoid public spaces. This includes routine, or non-essential doctor visits, grocery shopping and other visits.
  • Stay upbeat. Know the latest news and guidelines but try to remain calm, because your parent may sense your stress and reflect that.

Be reasonable and understanding and try your best in these uncertain times—for yourself and your loved one.

Reference: Long Island Weekly (April 12, 2020) “Caregiving During The Coronavirus”

Suggested Key Terms: Elder Law Attorney, Assisted Living, Nursing Home Care, Disability, Elder Care, Caregiving, Dementia, Alzheimer’s Disease

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